What do you do when all that kept you going makes you want to give up?

When the people who made you smile make you go through pain? When everything that was worth living for, just isn’t the same anymore? What do you fucking do? I don’t want fucking pity or people to worry about me. I’m self-destructive, I don’t deserve people trying to fix me. Fix the people around you, fix your life, fix yourself. Don’t waste your time trying to fix a selfish, depressed and broken girl like myself. You need her more than you need me. Just let me destroy all that’s left of me. Maybe that way your life will get back together again. The idea that I’m the cause of all this… Yes, you’d be much better off without me. I’m just too selfish to let you do so.

Random rant.

I really hope you’re having fun…Because someday soon, so will I. Watching everyone you thought was your so called “friends” leave you one by one. The ones you so desperately wanted back into your life.

And when that day does come, you’ll think of me. And remember what you’ve lost, and never be able to get it back. Because I will never allow you to become apart of my life ever again.

And chances? What do they even mean anymore? I took a chance, for you. And I gave you countless amounts of chances, and you took them all. Because love made me blind, it made me believe you were something you aren’t. And here I was, thinking you loved me enough to give me a chance. Just one. I never asked for one before, until now.

But no, nothing. You just…left.

It’s okay though, I was hurting at first, I am still a bit now…But this is only making me a stronger, better person. And I always thought it was you that made me a better person than I ever was. That’s not true…

It was /me/ that made me a better person, not you.

I won’t be taking the blame for your problems anymore. No matter what you say, I won’t. Because I will always know it was never me, it was always you. I was the one trying to fix things, trying to tell you how I felt. But you would just become angry, and turn it around on me.

So I just gave up, and took the blame because I loved you too much to let you go, risking us.

So thank you for opening my eyes to the /real/ you. Because MAN, was I blind.

{Don’t get me wrong, you are…were…an amazing person, but with the way you treated our relationship, you just turned out to be an ugly person on the inside in the end}

It was fun while it lasted, but I think I can do better. :)