I'd rather be with LOSERS than POPULAR PEOPLE!!

i’d rather be with losers:

• because they’re not going to hang out with anyone but you
• because they will feel good that you’re spending time with them not with anyone else
• they will be flattered when you truly laughed at their jokes
• they will try to have the best time of their lives with you even though you’re not in the mood

than popular people:

• because they have a lot of friends and sometimes they will leave you to talk to their other friends
• because if they know someone who is much cooler than you they will feel bored spending time with you
• because if they will give you a corny joke and you didn’t find it corny and you said nothing they will make it look like you don’t get it and you will be the laughing stalk, if you gave them a fake laugh they will give you a sad face, if you told them that it is very corny they will get angry at you

because if you’re not in the mood they will ask you why and you don’t wan’t to answer they will just forget about you (it’s not giving you space but really leaving you behind and at some point they will stop somewhere no one can see you and they will wait for you) or if you answered they will act like they care and afterwards when they are with his/her other friends and they will talk about you and he/she will say that you are just over-acting

and i was like WWHHHAAATTTTTTTT

the kind of people i hate:

• girls who want/try to look slutty
• fake bitches
• people who think their popular
• backstabbers 
• skinny people that say their fat 
• attention seekers 
• people that flirt too much
• girls who call you a slut for having sex with your boyfriend, and then turn around and ask the whole class who wants a blow job. 
• people who judge you for wearing boy cloths, because you’re a girl. 
• people who say “ew” at G/L/B/T  people
• girls who act bi/lesbian to turn guys on
• people who think they own the place
• people who don’t respect other cultures 
• people who don’t respect animals
• people who say “gay”  instead of “stupid” 
• people who lie to your face
• girls who say “HEY BITCH <3” or “HEY SLUT! <3 <3 xoxo”
• (:

Dear mom

To all the Mom’s, Mum’s, Momma’s, Mommy’s, Madre’s,….Mother’s-to-be && to our Mother’s-Mother’s, Thank-you,

Sorry for all the things I said behind your back. for the times i claimed i hated you. for the billions of rules i broke. for doing what you said not to && going where you didn’t want me to go. for hurting you. for not being what you wanted me to be. sorry that i’m not a nurse or a doctor or a teacher. sorry that I’ve brought home a lot more C’s then A’s. Know that I didn’t mean it. know that i try. know that i think you’re the most beautiful person i’ve ever known. know that i think you’re crazy(but that crazy can be good) know that i miss you. know that I’m nothing like you. know that I’m everything like you. know that i may not like you all the time but i love you, always. 

Thanks for the 9 months of morning sickness you put up with, the swollen feet, the stretch marks…

Thank you for kissing every scratch && bump && making everything better

Thank you for every swimming lesson, dance class, practice, competition…

Thanks for knowing we like our sandwiches cut into triangles, NOT squares

Thank you for helping us study for every test, for those late night home work sessions at the kitchen table,

Thank you for every birthday party, every sleepover…

Thank you for the dozens of Barbies, && for those ridiculous Furbies & Tamagatchi’s we thought we needed to have…  

Thank you for being taxi driver, therapist, teacher, friend, chef, maid….

Thank you for standing up for me when I was right && not putting up with me when I was wrong

Thank you for sticking by me those times I almost got suspended..&& that time I DID

Thanks for telling me I was beautiful when I wasn’t (don’t lie, no one looks good with braces)

Thanks for pretending to like those boyfriends (I knew all along you didn’t..)

Thank you for NOT kicking me out on my ass when I was at my worst.

Thank you for knowing i needed to find out for myself how much of a loser that guy was…

Thanks for keeping your cool when I got a tattoo && told you about it through email…4 separate times.

Thank you for knowing when I need help even when I won’t admit it…

Thank-you for everything you’ve done && everything you do

Thank-you for doing it because you want to, not because you have to

For all those things, && millions && millions more. Thank you.

YOU :)

you're perfect.. 

... because everything you do

makes me smile (:

... because every second spend with you 

is worth while (:

... because when you laugh at me

I laugh too (:
... because everyone else can see
that I'm devoted to you (:
... because I love your eyes
and the way they shine (:
... because you don't tell lies
and you're so cute when you whine
... because when you get mad
you can't hide it 
... because when you're said
I can find it 
... because the way you hold me
sends shivers down my spine
... because your spirit's so free
and you're so damn  fine
... because I never stop thinking about you
it's not fair
... because you are just perfect
and no one else who compare (:

<3 

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

IS WRONG WITH ME?!

Life is moving on too quickly. People are proving that they can no longer be trusted as much as she had once thought. Her feelings are tossed around like they don’t mean jack. She feels betrayed and let down, ignored and silenced, judgement and ridicule, anger and emptiness. She no longer loves the things she used to. She’s changed completely. She is standing up more, but clamping up more, living as though she is free but is hiding one big secret of her life. She feels that she can’t trust no one, and that they wont listen or care. She is fragile, she just wants to be understood. She doesn’t know how to express her feelings. She chickens out of getting help. Every time. No fail. She doesn’t know why she even bothers. She feels as though no one cares. She is so lost and insecure. She just wants to hide and be alone. She likes the darkness or night, but hates that she can’t see. She feels as though she is judged every time she moves an inch, if she does her work, or if she does nothing. She is over trying. She is over trying to please everyone. To be perfect. To be the best. To be herself. To be accepted. She couldn’t even care anymore. She just wants it all to end. And at times she knows that if she just holds on, tomorrow might be a better day? But when is there ever a day where nothing goes wrong?

depressed. this is the low part. i fuck up every single good thing i have periodically. this gets me into trouble and kicked out alot. but whos to blame? is it the ones restricting me or my care free spirit that loves the thrill of the struggle? am i addicted to getting into tough spots that i have to survive and get my self out of, or do i just want the attention that follows. besides the side affects of bein free if only for a few hours, is the trouble that i get into not worth the few moments of freedom and careless actions any less fun ? am i the bad one for wanting to have fun and put my stress and boundries to the side? its not like im taking over the world and killing all in my way…its friends, its chill, its weed, its a drink or two, goodtimes…and then its over…simple really. to not want that should be rong. and to take that from someone simply because theyre not doing things your way should be a shame…all i want is to be free.

After Hours

The best part about you isn’t your personality or your looks or what you say… it’s the fact that when you look at me as I talk… all you can do is smile. And as I ask you why you’re smiling even though I know exactly what it is, you try to hide it, saying it’s nothing. But it’s just talking with me makes you smile like that doesn’t it? It makes you that happy to see me.

Well, would you like to know the best part?

Life

I thought that “having a life” was meant to have fun every day / night, drinking and partying and just “LIVE” .. 
But now I understand ..

Having a life does not mean you have to do things you don’t want to do and that others expect you to do, it’s about what you want, what is best for you. For if you fail to fulfill your own desires and dreams ,  just for making others satisfied, what’s the point of living then?

What do you do when all that kept you going makes you want to give up?

When the people who made you smile make you go through pain? When everything that was worth living for, just isn’t the same anymore? What do you fucking do? I don’t want fucking pity or people to worry about me. I’m self-destructive, I don’t deserve people trying to fix me. Fix the people around you, fix your life, fix yourself. Don’t waste your time trying to fix a selfish, depressed and broken girl like myself. You need her more than you need me. Just let me destroy all that’s left of me. Maybe that way your life will get back together again. The idea that I’m the cause of all this… Yes, you’d be much better off without me. I’m just too selfish to let you do so.

Random rant.

I really hope you’re having fun…Because someday soon, so will I. Watching everyone you thought was your so called “friends” leave you one by one. The ones you so desperately wanted back into your life.

And when that day does come, you’ll think of me. And remember what you’ve lost, and never be able to get it back. Because I will never allow you to become apart of my life ever again.

And chances? What do they even mean anymore? I took a chance, for you. And I gave you countless amounts of chances, and you took them all. Because love made me blind, it made me believe you were something you aren’t. And here I was, thinking you loved me enough to give me a chance. Just one. I never asked for one before, until now.

But no, nothing. You just…left.

It’s okay though, I was hurting at first, I am still a bit now…But this is only making me a stronger, better person. And I always thought it was you that made me a better person than I ever was. That’s not true…

It was /me/ that made me a better person, not you.

I won’t be taking the blame for your problems anymore. No matter what you say, I won’t. Because I will always know it was never me, it was always you. I was the one trying to fix things, trying to tell you how I felt. But you would just become angry, and turn it around on me.

So I just gave up, and took the blame because I loved you too much to let you go, risking us.

So thank you for opening my eyes to the /real/ you. Because MAN, was I blind.

{Don’t get me wrong, you are…were…an amazing person, but with the way you treated our relationship, you just turned out to be an ugly person on the inside in the end}

It was fun while it lasted, but I think I can do better. :)

Dear you,

I worry about you. I know you tell me not to but I can’t help it. When you’re sad, the only thing I can think of is how badly I want to make you feel better, even if I am the cause of your sadness. We agreed to be just friends but that doesn’t mean my love for you will disappear. I can be your bestfriend and love you at the same time. Watching from the sidelines is nothing new to me. When she hurts you all I can do is be your shoulder to cry on, even tho I will always want to be more. You can tell me your problems & no matter how upset I get over what she’s done to you, I will never do anything to jeopardize your happiness. Even if that means sacrificing my own. Remember, I love you. Always & forever.

Why do I love him?

I love him because he’s the most wonderful and sweetest guy I have ever known in my entire life. I love him because he’s smart and has a great sense of humor. I love him because he makes me smile. I love him because he makes me laugh. I love him because he makes me happy.  I love him because he accepts the real me, imperfections and all, and still appreciates me for who I am. I love him for being my boyfriend and at the same time, a best friend. I love him because I could be whatever I want to be in front of him. I love him because we could talk about anything and everything under the sun. I love him because I feel safe when I am with him. I love him because we are comfortable with each other. I love him for giving me a helping hand when I had to pick myself up, I love him for offering his shoulder for me to lean on to. I love him for texting and sending me sweet and mushy messages. I love him for those times when he would call or text me just when I was thinking of calling or texting him, when I was feeling down, or when I was missing him, like he has gone psychic all of a sudden. I love him for the kilig moments we had.

I love him for always making me feel better, about myself and life in general. I love him for making me feel special. I love him for making me feel loved. I love him for making me realize that I am capable of feeling this way and this much for someone. I love him for making me feel alive.

So, why do I love him?

I love him because he’s all of these and more. 

So much more.

I love him because he’s everything. 

He’s everything… but mine.

To: You

 like ..

The way we hug. The way we kiss. The way we play.

I like the way we fight and make up, moving on stronger than ever.

I like the way you get my bad jokes. The way you know what I’m saying when I’m not saying it right. The way you surprise me when I don’t expect it.

How we know so much about each other yet know absolutely nothing at all and still have a life time to find out. I like the way you carry my bags. The way you rush to the other side of the car just to open my door. The way you shove me back in the car just to reopen the door for me and take my bags. The way you make me laugh. The way you get me.

But , I hate ..

The way I can’t sleep without you on he phone. The way I always like yours hugs. The way I always want your kisses. I hate the fact that without you I could cry myself to sleep. I hate the fact that it feels so weird without you here by side. The way we could fight and when I see you smiling at me, I cant help but smile back. I hate the way I let myself put you in the picture years from now. I hate the fact that I trust you enough that it scares me.

And ..

I can’t give you everything you’ve wanted and more, I can only give you what I have. I can’t promise that we’ll be together forever, But I can promise you I’ll love you forever. I can’t promise that were always going to see eye to eye, But I cab promise that we can always talk it out.

Cause me and you? Were good. Really good. I wouldn’t have it any other way and that I promise.

Love.

Wanna know a secret?

You are beautiful.
Black, white, gay, straight, bisexual.
Whether you are smart, or quiet, or
impossibly in love with your best friend,
somebody out there cherishes your smile
their head turns, and they get butterflies the
minute you walk into a room. Somebody out
there can't stop talking about you. 
You are beautiful (:
Don't ever believe Differently. 

Mirror, mirror in my heart.

It is beyond typical for someone to call it quits and to simply leave business unfinished. But it’s not that normal for someone to fully and wholly believe in themselves. If wishes came true, this wish would be at the top of my list. A wish just for myself but it will disencumber the qualms in the majority of successes, failures, and people. “I believe in myself. The many times I have fell and failed or the times I’m going to fall and fail, I have kept and will keep the on going courage and strength to stand back up and to continue on. Despite the negativity and discouragement I absorb, I’ll still be able to see that I’m capable and I can do it. Giving up is a legitimate option but that option strays far from my paths. I have faith in myself and if I ever misplace it, I won’t forget that it’s still somewhere inside of me and that it is not lost. I am me and in simple terms, I am brave.”

All yours now ♥

You can rough me up,
You can break me down,
Baby don’t stop now.

Oh, you can use me up til it all runs out,
Baby don’t stop now.

I’m all yours,
I’m all yours somehow,
Baby don’t stop now.

Love.

Love isn’t easy. Love is many things, and there are many ways to show it. There isn’t just one easy definition for it. No specific way to describe it. Many think its butterflies in the stomach, but its more than that. More complex. More deep. More meaningful. True love, if its real it will come natural. It’s being with that person and being able to be yourself, feeling comfortable around them, knowing they won’t judge or ridicule you. It’s putting their feelings before yours and you not worrying because they do exactly the same. Making sure they feel respected, loved, cared for, important. Always having their back and supporting their dreams, goals, and wishes. never doubting, always trusting, being able to talk about everything, and anything. Knowing their will be disagreements but also knowing there is ways to move forward and fix the problem , discuss things that the other doesn’t seem ok with, without fighting. and all this seems to come out natural because that’s how your heart knows love is supposed be. If you have doubts it’s not love, love has no boundaries, it risks all without thinking. It just feels. And when you find that person that fits this and more, your heart will know. You shouldn’t settle for less than someone who puts you first, and you shouldn’t waste someone’s time when you can’t put them first. True love is a mutual feeling. Something like no other. And when your heart has found it, there will most definitely be all this, and more.<3

Valentine's Day.

Yes, it is Valentine’s Day and I am single. I don’t mind it at all, I love being single. But, I really don’t see the point of Valentine’s Day? Why does there have to be a specific day to give your loved one roses or chocolates and express your love for them? You should be doing that every single day when you’re with them. Show them you love them with little gestures every day. Not only on Valentine’s.